Lost all my mirth? . . . Mono no aware.

As the anniverary of Kathleen's death fast approaches, I feel an intensifying of grief and a more than usual inability to stay focussed on practical matters, like preparing the children for school, remembering appointments and such. The sentiment of Hamlet's speech from Act 2, Scene 2 reverberates with me.

"I have of late -- but wherefore I know not -- lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours."

Yet that isn't quite it. I am painfully aware of the beauty of life, and the sorrows and inequities. I feel both despair and a heartrending joy at the same time.

In Japanese, apparently, this might be a feeling of

Mono no aware
"the 'ahh-ness' of things."
"the awareness of mujo or the transience of things and a bittersweet sadness at their passing."

This beautiful earth, this wonderful life is not dust and vile vapours. But it, too, will pass.

Meanwhile, "If that's all there is my friend, then let's keep dancing."

Saskatoons, Raspberries, Mosquitoes, and Friends

My son's best friend offered to pick some berries for me today. My own two were uninterested. So after supplying him with an ice cream bucket and a shoulder strapped carrier, and spraying him down with repellent he headed to the side of the house.
The mosquitoes were vicious this last week. The latest hatch are large, numerous and persistent. We have had so much rain. Our basement flooded a little. It was enough to require that we replace the flooring and the gyproc. That is getting off topic.
So my berry picker returned to the house to continue playing Wii or walking the neighbours dog with my son. And then he went home.
I had forgotten about the berries until I noticed them sitting in the bucket on the kitchen table. Raspberries and ripe big saskatoons mixed together. It was getting late on this holiday Monday and we dont have any ice cream or yogurt but I rinsed them and we ate them as is. Oh yum!
A reminder for me when the mosqitoes are thick, the waters threaten to overwhelm, "Slow down and taste the raspberries and the saskatoons." We get by with a little help from our friends.  Thanks, dude.