As the anniverary of Kathleen's death fast approaches, I feel an intensifying of grief and a more than usual inability to stay focussed on practical matters, like preparing the children for school, remembering appointments and such. The sentiment of Hamlet's speech from Act 2, Scene 2 reverberates with me.
"I have of late -- but wherefore I know not -- lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours."
Yet that isn't quite it. I am painfully aware of the beauty of life, and the sorrows and inequities. I feel both despair and a heartrending joy at the same time.
In Japanese, apparently, this might be a feeling of
Mono no aware
"the 'ahh-ness' of things."
"the awareness of mujo or the transience of things and a bittersweet sadness at their passing."
This beautiful earth, this wonderful life is not dust and vile vapours. But it, too, will pass.
Meanwhile, "If that's all there is my friend, then let's keep dancing."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment